100 rules for Robins(past and current)
by Willakarra
Summary: 100 rules for Robins past and current. Note: last 10 rules have longer explanations. Rated T because I'm really, really paranoid. Now on Hiatus. READ PROFILE FOR INFO.
1. Chapter 1

100 rules for Robin (past and current)

**A/N: For the sake of the story, Jason, Dick, Tim, and Damian are from BEFORE Bruce's death, Jason is not a antihero, and since I have not ready any comics yet with Steph, she does not exist. So, Dick made Bruce make 42 rules, Jason 51, and Tim 7. Damian has just been introduced to the Rules, and Bruce has made Jason, Dick, and Tim go over the rules with Damian, but since none of them have read the other's rules, They'll do that first. Result:**

Dick's rules

1: You are not allowed to patrol alone unless I say so.

"Wait, _you_ caused Bruce making that rule?"

"Um, yeah, Jason."

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THAT!"

2: You are not allowed to paint all of my Batarangs pink.

3: You are not allowed to paint the Batmobile the Boy Scout's colors and say it's the Supermobile. In fact, stay away from paint in general in the Cave.

"What did he do to you for that?"

"I had to clean them off and none of Alfred's cookies or patrol for a week."

4: NEVER sing Call Me Maybe before fighting and say that's it's the new official Batman theme song. First, you're terrible at singing, Second, I don't WANT a theme song and Third, Call Me Maybe is too…. Not Batman.

"Dick! CALL ME MAYBE?!"

"Next rule, Next rule, Next rule."

5: DO NOT WATCH THE LEGO MOVIE! It portrays me HORRIBLY!

"Ok, I am SO watching that movie. The instant we're done with the brat."

"If Bruce likes it so little, there might be a reason. But fine."

6: NEVER IN YOUR LIFE ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET SHOT CUT OR HURT IN ANY WAY!

"….."

"Way, overprotective."

7: You should not(heh,heh,heh) be nice to the Boy Scout.

8: Don't change the rules so they say the opposite of what I mean. From now on, you aren't even allowed to _TOUCH _this book without MY permission.

"What did you do when he finished writing that one?"

"I touched it of course!"

9: Never tell the League that I tried to kill you, and me that the League tried to kill you and make each other mad enough to _actually _kill the other!

"You did WHAT?"

"It was April Fool's Day. They never looked at a calendar. Once the fight was over, I told them."

"No patrol for a month."

"Yup."

10: You should never get hit by laughing gas on purpose. Or fear gas. Or any other gas.

"He didn't have to punish me. I had nightmares for the rest of the year."

11: You should ALWAYS ask my permission before you do something brash, reckless, or unlikely to work.

"That is just WAY too protective of you, Bruce, way too protective."

"I know, right?"

12: Never say you want to be the Boy scout's sidekick!

"What would you have been, Superbird?"

"Hey! I take offense to that!"

"I think you were supposed to."

13: Never pretend to get hurt. EVER. I don't care about the circumstances, never say you're hurt unless you're REALLY hurt.

"That's why he said I broke a rule when I pretended to be dead on Halloween."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."

14: Always be MY sidekick, not the cursed Boy Scout's!

"OK, is that over possessiveness or what?"

15: NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET UNDER THE CONTROL OF SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME!

"First time against Poison Ivy."

"Wait a minute, HE can get us under hypnosis or mind control, but no one else can?"

"Apparently so, Jason. Apparently so."

**And CUT. I will do 14 rules next chapter and 13 after that. Reviewing makes me happy.**


	2. Chapter 2

100 things Robin should never do.

**A/N: I'm back! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own DC.**

16: Never dress up as Batman and take on the Joker!

"Seriously?"

"I was bored."

17: Alfred is ALWAYS right. Obey Alfred's every word. Remember, Alfred is ALWAYS right, even if you think he's wrong.

"Well, I think we ALL know that one."

18: You are not allowed to get gassed by Scarecrow. EVER.

"That one's stupid."

"Totally, I mean, I needed some to make a quicker acting antidote, but Bruce wouldn't let me get too close to him, because of that rule!"

19: You are a TERRIBLE Robin if you think that you can EVER run away from home!

"…."

"And that was totally responsible, Dick. Totally responsible.

20: STOP SPOILING HARRY POTTER FOR ME!

"I always got to the books before him, then hid somewhere in the man- HARRY DIES IN THE LAST BOOK!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

21: You can only eat 2 pieces of candy a day. YOU plus TOO MUCH CANDY= Hyperactive Robin.

"So that's why you always hide the fact that you're eating three bars at once whenever you see Bruce."

"Shut up Jason!"

22: You are not allowed to tell people that the Joker and I have a 'thing' going on.

"YOU THOUGHT THAT THEY WE-"

"SHUT UP!"

23: You are not allowed to sing the 'I know a song that will get on Everybody's nerves song'

"Oh, you didn't!"

"Yeah, I did!"

24: No, I do not like the Big Blue Boy Scout. STOP TELLING PEOPLE I DO!

"Dick? You spread the rumor Batman likes SUPERMAN? They're like mortal enemies!"

"Um, yeah, Tim?"

25: Don't tell the Riddler that his Riddles are stupid.

"But they are stupid!"

26: Same for Cluemaster's clues.

"I always thought he should have counted it as 25.5."

"Why 25.5?"

"It's basically the same as 25."

"You make no sense."

"Thanks, Tim."

27: Don't ask the Penguin if he can't fly either. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE SAID HE WAS GOING ON AN AIRPLANE YOU IDIOT!

"Seriously, Dick?"

"Oh, shut up, _little_ wing."

28: Don't ask ANY villain if you can be his/her sidekick because I abuse you. I DON'T ABUSE YOU!

"Bet that got him hurt."

"It did."

29: Don't get frozen ON PURPOSE.

"Why would you do that?"

" 'Cause I wanted to."

30: If you dare tell Catwoman you want to steal stuff with her, and then tell her I like her, I will MURDER you.

"Oh, the look on his face when he heard that, just priceless."

"I assume you took pictures?"

"Yup."

"Let's get 'em out."

"Totally, Jason, Tim, totally."


	3. Young Justice?

**Chapter 3**

**A/N: Hi! New bunch of rules, concerning naughty Dick and Young Justice. xD. Remember to R&R(what does that even stand for, anyways?)**

31. Young Justice is NOT an idea made up because we want to get rid of our sidekicks. It's to do GOOD in the world.

MOST IMPORTANT RULE EVER!: NEVER scribble, burn, paint, tear, or do ANYTHING to make this book impossible to read!

Tim stared at Dick. "What did you do?"

Dick mumbled something. Jason ran at him and yelled "WHAT THE **** DID YOU ******* DO?"**(A/N: I am filtering out the cussing, as you can probably see.)**

"I might have scribbled all over the book, painted the scribbles neon pink, teared off some pages, then burned the book because I thought that 31 was a fake" Dick rushed out to his brothers, whose eyes grew big, before fainting.

-10 minutes later-

32. No letting Young Justice into the Batcave without MY express permission. EVER.

Dick grinned. Wally had figured out all of the passwords within 10 minutes, Connor had found(and destroyed) all of Batman's plans for getting rid of Superman. He wasn't happy about that at ALL. Artemis used pictures of Batman as targets. Megan painted the room… NEON PINK. Kaldur had used the computers to find out everything he could about different kinds of fish that he might not know about.

Tim looked at him. "I don't even want to know, do I?" Jason nodded. "Not even one bit."

"Nope!" was Dick's enthuisiastic reply.

33. Don't go to Wally's house and MUCH more importantly, if you do go to Wally's house, NEVER come back then sing a song making me have to walk around the Batcave if I put my elbows on the table! OR a song that makes me have sing a song to shut your mouth up!

… There was a silence as Tim and Jason stole a glance at Dick, then turned away, making sure their elbows weren't on the table.

34. Don't tell Young Justice that I rape you. _**YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE!**_

Tim had a question, "What did they do to him?"

"Let's just say he was in Leslie's clinic for a bit of time."

34.5 Don't spread false rumors to ANYONE about me abusing you in any way! ESPECIALLY YOUNG JUSTICE!

"That one is fitting." Jason pointed out.

35. Do NOT flirt with people in Young Justice. ESPECIALLY NOT THE BOYS!

"Were you- "Tim started

"Flirting with- "Jason picked off.

"Both boys and girls in Young Justice?" They finished together.

Dick shrugged. "I was drugged at the time. I think I might have been flirting with Bruce, but it was April Fool's Day so he didn't pay attention to that. Then Kaldur reported on me…"

36. Keep Wally away from my secret stash of coffee.

36.5. Keep Wally away from my secret stash of soda too!

36.75. Keep Wally away from all of my secret stashes!

"Did you know Batman has a secret stash of cookies and milk? And Catwoman pictures?"

Jason and Tim both gasped "BRUCE STARES AT PICUTRES OF HER?!"

Dick nodded. "He does."

"This is worse than I thought." Tim mused.

**A/N: Hiya folks! I know, only 7 rules, but there were two .5s, and one .75, so more like 10, and it also has the most important rule! And I'm too lazy to write more. :D**


	4. Jason Justice League Bad

The Justice League+ Jason…

**A/N: I'm back! I update whenever I feel peppy, and I'mk peppy now, so updates!**

**Jason's rules**

37. Stay away from Guy Gardner! He'll DESTROY the tiny scraps left of your innocence.

Dick gave Jason a look. "And this rule was made because?"

Tim butted in over Jason's reply "Shouldn't you know?

Dick just shrugged. "The last rule Bruce made while I was Robin was 36.75, these are Jason's reign as Robin rules, now."

38. Although it's really fun to annoy Super-man, don't do it anymore! You're annoying him too much, now I have to actually THINK about how to annoy the Boy Scout!

Dick and Tim gasped in unison. Tim asked Jason the all important question: "You were more annoying to Superman than the BATMAN?"

Jason nodded. "I did it, and I'm proud."

39. YOU ARE A TWISTED EVIL PERSON YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU _**NEVER**_ TELL WONDERWOMAN THAT STRIPPERS WEAR HER COSTUME A LOT!

Dick gasped "JASON TODD!" Jason made a squeaking noise and hurriedly flipped the page of the rulebook.

40. Don't tell J'onn that He needs to stay inside of my head at all times! Seriously!

Dick slapped a high 5 with Jason. "That one's REALLY good. Great job, man.

41. Stay away from Catwoman! She's MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

Dick groaned. "See the overpossessiveness?"

Jason nodded. "Exactly, I mean come on. "She's mine mine mine mine mine!" he mimicked in a high pitched, flowery voice.

42. Never say you're faster than the Flash. You'll feel a lot of pain shortly as he hits you a couple hundred times while you're blinking.

42.5. WHAT THE HECK MADE YOU SIGN ME UP FOR A RACE (POWERS ALLOWED) WITH THE FLASH?

"You did not!"

"I did too!"

43. Never sign me up for a competition with a member of the Justice League without checking with me first.

"Why'd he put up that rule?"

"I signed him up for:

1. An archery competition with Green Arrow

2. A space race with Hal Jordan

3. A whack-'em-up contest with Superman

4. A ground race with the Flash.

5. A weight-lifting competition with Wonder Woman.

6. A telepathy competition with the Martian Manhunter."

Dick was slightly confused about number 3. "A whack-'em-up contest with superman?"

"People get to take turns hitting them until one is knocked out. I put wonder woman and Hal to do it with Batman. He had bruises for a month."


End file.
